This scene is powerful for anyone who watched Scarface. Here, Tony points out the hypocrisy of those in the room and how the difference between him and everyone else is that he speaks his mind and is true to himself. I can relate, since I’ve gotten a lot of flak, even from those I thought were close enough to understand me, for my cynical views and for generally speaking what comes to my mind because it is offensive, yet I know that all of those people have said things that are at least just as offensive, fallacious, or cynical.

I had some strange dreams during the past week that I could still remember after waking up.

First, several days ago, in my dream, I was in a waiting room like at my optometrist, and a former friend of mine, who I did not want to see, was in it. This person just came sand sat in the chair next to me, and was wearing a familiar grey hoodie and we were both avoiding eye contact and staring straight ahead. It wasn’t a scary or terrible dream, but it did ruin my day and I was pissed off at my subconscious. Why couldn’t it have been someone else, like my cute coworker that I’m friends with, or other people I’d be happy to see?

The next dream I had was a few days ago. In it, I was covered in scorpions, which were clinging onto my clothes and one was on a cup of water I was about to drink from. These scorpions were reddish-brown, large, and some even had extra smaller claws. It was freaky, but I did not suddently wake up screaming or gasping, like I usually would do in dreams that involve close contact with bugs and other invertebrates, such as the dream of the jellyfish in the sink. Instead, I was just grabbing the scorpions by their tails and pulling them off of me.

Finally, I had a dream last night. This one felt like I was not asleep. In my dream, I woke up to look up a notification from a stupid dating app I recently added on my phone. The person I matched with was a beautiful redhead, but she had a really strange looking grin that made me feel uncomfortable, and it felt like she was staring into me. I looked at her hair and then realized that it, along with her shoulders, were covered in scorpions that blended in, but became clear. This one was a nightmare, and I woke up and probably screamed.

I don’t know if these dreams have any sort of meaning or what it is telling us about my subconscious, especially the last two dreams.

Everyone deserves roses so they can go fuck themselves with the stems. I thought I could quit my tumblr by deleting the app and everything will be good, but fuck it, im always gonna be pissed, and have been since the last year of high school give or take. I’m gonna move up this company after finishing interning and school, get rich, give my parents and bro enough money to retire/get settled, tell them to fuck off of my life, and drown myself in coke without giving a fuck by the time im 30, 35 tops. One of my friends said that the whole idea is selfish, but fuck it, I aint gonna live my whole life for others, and the whole concept that someone┬ámust live their life for others, while enduring bitterness and anger is selfish of those people.

The thought of killing someone because of one’s recklessness is dreadful. I don’t think I could live through that if I did something like that.

The family friend who did this, I remember was someone I thought has found happiness. His family was well off, he had a really hot girlfriend who seemed cool, and his older brother has gotten married a year ago. His driver’s license was already suspended for drunk driving, and I don’t know what caused him to start this destructive path and continue down it until everything happened.

It’s eerie that a family friend I knew in Toronto, a few months ago, killed someone in a drunk driving incident, and was in a car chase before crashing and getting arrested. Human life is sacred. I don’t know anything about the victim, but that person could have been someone’s son or daughter, wife or husband, a loving parent, a sibling, a friend, a good samaritan, with hopes and dreams.